1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:02,599 Warning! 2 00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,699 The following movie is protected by copyright laws but its internet version can be freely distributed. 3 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,699 Public presentation and copying for profit is prohibited without an explicit permission from authors. 4 00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:08,699 Presenting the movie is almost prohibited also at oil rigs, morgues, dentist's, hamburger restaurants 5 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:10,699 (except BurgerBurger-chain), space shuttles, public rest rooms, Pentagon, Planet Mars 6 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:12,699 or at the town hall of Peräalajoki in that closet with a green and a bit decayed door. 7 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,999 Movie can neither be presented as pantomime, with morse code, finger paintings, smoke signals, 8 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,999 telepathic messages, as imitations (unless you are really good), in bad Old Norse nor in reverse. 9 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,999 You can neither use a projector if you are wearing too tight cycling trousers. 10 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,399 If you break these rules, you will die within seven days. 11 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,599 Enjoy the movie. 12 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,299 Timo! Timo! - What? 13 00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:13,299 Come and take a look. There's a kind of black hole in here. 14 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,799 Huh? - A black hole. 15 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,799 No there isn't. - Yes there is. 16 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,299 Some macaroni is coming out of it. 17 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,499 Macaroni? 18 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:29,699 What are we going to do with it? - Get that bowl from the closet. 19 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,999 Do we have any ketchup? - Check the toilet! 20 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,199 Directed by/Screenplay by 21 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:51,499 Uhhuh. A dump for three. 22 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:55,099 Editing/Post-processing 23 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,099 Music (and others) 24 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,599 Mixing/Sound effects 25 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,499 Graphical design 26 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,499 HUBA4 You only laugh thrice 27 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:53,699 "Help! I'm trapped in editorial offices!" 28 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:58,899 Keep bailing! It just keeps coming in! 29 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:03,699 Give me another bowl. The floor is already full. 30 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,999 Open the window! Quickly, get someone to help us! 31 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,399 Now get that fish out of your mouth and let's get to the superhits of the past! 32 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:29,499 This is your unique chance to get a collection that is not available anywhere. 33 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:37,399 The Best Of Mmmhmmhmm contains all the best hits from the last million years that you can't live without. 34 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:42,699 Can you still remember all these superhits after all these years? 35 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,599 Can you still remember all these unforgettable hits? 36 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,599 Where were you when this hit song was played? 37 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:46,099 The Best Of Mmmhmmhmm also contains fresher superhits - 38 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:52,099 like these songs from a falling star of Finnish rock, Sauli: Hups, oho - 39 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,999 and the song Hey? Is This Mic On? 40 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,999 One, two, one two. 41 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,329 I left my pick at home. 42 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:20,199 The Besf Of Mmmhmmhmm should be in every home. 43 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,799 Now get Your copy of this eight CD collection! 44 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,799 The best music for you and her. 45 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:32,199 Can you still remember this celebrated boy band Five Boys? 46 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:47,199 A member of the band, Greasy Latino, won the hearts of teenage girls over with his superpopular single - 47 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,199 Oh Baby, I Love You Too Forever 48 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,399 The Best Of Mmmhmmhmm 49 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:27,899 The Best Of Mmmhmmhmm also contains a memorial song for the famous rap-trio Hovimestarit. 50 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,199 What? 51 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,799 The Best Of Mmmhmmhmm 52 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,899 Where were you when this hit song was played? 53 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,899 I was in jail. 54 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,599 Can you still remember this evergreen song? 55 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,199 Can you remember all these unforgettable hits? 56 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:59,799 Diva Johnson became famous by singing at the sound track for a movie The Day Of Ends. 57 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,199 Buy it or I'll get hurt. 58 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:34,399 Eight CD collection The Best Of MmmHmmHmm with an unbelievable total price! 59 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,999 What are you still waiting for? Act now! 60 00:08:56,900 --> 00:09:01,899 If you order now, you will also get this egg scoop which makes it easy to pick up eggs from water. 61 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,699 The Best Of MmmHmmHmm! 62 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,299 Did you see that funky bridge? 63 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:16,299 Huh? 64 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,799 What are you trying to do? 65 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,799 Could I get a glass of red wine for you? 66 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:37,299 I knew it! You're just making fun of me! Always picking on the colour blind guy! 67 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:40,299 Do you think it's easy to be colour blind when everyone is always messing with you? 68 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:43,299 I'm always suffering. Just listen to what he's playing. 69 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:48,299 Yellow submarine, Lady In Red, Green Day, Black Sabbath! 70 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,799 This is just improvised blues. 71 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:51,799 Exactly! 72 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,799 You really shouldn't see red. 73 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,799 Things are going just great for you. Others are just green with envy. 74 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,799 Children are pointing and laughing at the streets. I never know the colour of my clothes. 75 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,799 I once went to a funeral in a red suit. 76 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,799 Paint is all over my shirt. You never know what is fashion and what is just.. a shit stain. 77 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,699 And who had the white wine? - But I ordered red wine. 78 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,799 I tried to be a painter. Nothing came out of that either. 79 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,799 I painted a town hall for a week until finally someone said to me: "Just use one colour, please." 80 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,799 How can you tell what those buckets really contain? 81 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,199 I once painted a radio tower black and a Finnair aeroplane crashed into it. 82 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:32,199 I lost my job because of that. I had to do moonlighting jobs after that incident. 83 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,199 And that's some grey economy too these days! 84 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,799 When I went duck hunting with my friends, we were supposed to shoot mallards. 85 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,799 He just made fun of me when I shot some greenfinches, yellow warblers, redpolls. 86 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,799 Greylag geese shit on me! 87 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,799 I haven't eaten anything for a week! 88 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,799 Even cook books are harassing me! 89 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,799 "Separate yolk from egg white" "Make sure that the banana is not green" 90 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,799 "Black currants are healthier" "blue cheese", "brown sauce" 91 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,799 ".. just add some black pepper" 92 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,799 At least your breath doesn't smell like white garlic sauce. 93 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,499 Even my shrink asked if I had seen some pink elephants. 94 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:04,099 Well I haven't! 95 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:07,099 I can't even do any politics, when I can't separate red from green. 96 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,099 Red-Green, Red Cross, Blue-Red 97 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,099 Red-Earth Coalition is only half as bad. 98 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:14,099 You can't recognise the skin colour of people. True Finns don't accept my membership. 99 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,099 I wanted to be a racist, but I can't! 100 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,099 How about the movies then? 101 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:22,099 Crimson Tide, The Pink Panther, The Hunt for Red October 102 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:24,099 Three Colours Trilogy, can't see those. 103 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,099 The Curse of the Black Pearl, Men in Black 104 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:29,099 What do you think that makes me feel like? 105 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,999 Just look at that show over there. 106 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,599 I have heard that there are four different colours of Teletubbies. 107 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:41,099 What? You have glasses? Hah! A nerd! 108 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:50,499 Glass head! Bottle eyes! Four-eyed freak! Bug eyes! Magno-eyes! 109 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,399 I have to go. 110 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,499 Never knew who he was messing with. 111 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,899 Now, you have had a very colourful life. 112 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,399 VIKING LOTTERY 113 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:19,199 Good evening! Here are the winning numbers for Viking Lottery: 114 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,599 One, .. 115 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,899 Two, .. 116 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,399 Three, .. 117 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,999 Four, .. Raija, is this really correct? 118 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,199 Five, .. 119 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,399 Six, .. 120 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,399 You pigs! 121 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,699 You disgrace the brave vikings! I will slaughter all of you! 122 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,699 Cut! Cut! 123 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,699 ANTIQUE, ANTIQUE, ANTIQUE 124 00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:02,699 Welcome to the Antique, Antique, 125 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:07,499 .. Antique show. 126 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:16,799 We are today at the back yard of manor Strumpbyxor, next to a highway - 127 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:25,799 and we are evaluating some very, very interesting antique items today. 128 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,399 Why don't we take the first one in right now. 129 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,799 Good day - Good day 130 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:39,299 I was supposed to have a glass bowl to be evaluated, but I lost it. 131 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:47,899 But don't you leave anywhere, Attila of the Attics, Angel of the Ancient, while I go and find it. 132 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,499 Don't worry, I won't bite. 133 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,199 Good day! - Good day. 134 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,699 Here is a kind of a glass bowl, an heirloom. 135 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,599 What do you think it is worth? 136 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,599 Well, let's have a look, then. 137 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,399 CHICKEN MANURE FROM TUUSULA FARM 138 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:50,999 Fertilize your flowerbed with Chicken Manmmhm.. from Tuusula Farm. 139 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:58,999 It is good. Buy it. Chicken maammh from Tuusula Farm. 140 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,199 Say that word! 141 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,599 Say ****! 142 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,599 But I can't say it on TV! 143 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,599 Oh, you can't, right? What's the ******* problem with it? 144 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:15,499 Who did that? Who the **** beeped? 145 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,199 Oui, what? 146 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,599 Lost my job again. They are always demanding something impossible. 147 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,799 I've had difficult times ever since I was a kid. 148 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,599 I had to ski to school at summer and winter. Wolves howled. 149 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,199 Had to pick up stones - 150 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,199 and wash firewood. 151 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,799 There was always cold and hunger and darkness. 152 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,099 And it hailed! 153 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,999 But it was even worse for the kids next door! 154 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,899 Wait a minute.. where am I? 155 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,199 Now I'm in a hurry! 156 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,499 What is important for you in your life? 157 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,599 Health 158 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,399 Family 159 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,199 Nature 160 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:37,799 Love 161 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,599 Enjoy your life with your family. We take care of the rest. 162 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,699 When money is not important. 163 00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:47,299 The Bank 164 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,799 A dream job! Even I can do this! 165 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:22,899 Wake up! Put the hat on! Now try to do this right for once. 166 00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:25,598 Lights, camera. 167 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,199 Action! 168 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:41,399 Welcome to the World of Hardcore Por.. Pork. 169 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,199 We review today - 170 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:50,599 a por.. pork video 171 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:58,199 In addition, a report from ero.. exhibition. 172 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,799 and we test - 173 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,399 some gear. 174 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,099 What? 175 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:15,099 This is Tiina-Anneli Mykerö from Forced Sales Inc. Good evening. 176 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,099 Do you have a moment? - Well.. 177 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,099 Do you own a telephone? 178 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,299 Yes! 179 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,599 Well.. that's it then. Good-bye. 180 00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:30,299 Hmm.. there must be something wrong with this.. 181 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,599 Hi! This is Mauno Mahdoton from Forced Sales Inc. Good morning! 182 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,599 We are selling an annual volume of the Pirjo-magazine. Are you interested? 183 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,599 Oh, yes. 184 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,599 Shall we make a deal right away? - Sounds good, I'll take it. 185 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,299 Don't you mess with me! - I'm not messing with you. 186 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:56,299 Really, with this offer, you could get the annual volume for half the price! 187 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,899 Yes, I'll take it. 188 00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,899 No you won't. 189 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,899 What? Yes I will! - Nooo, you won't. 190 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,899 What's the problem now? I'm taking it! 191 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,899 Really! You can't buy it anywhere at this price! 192 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,899 Really. I want that magazine. I'll pay twice as much if needed. 193 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,399 This is enough! Stop now or I'll report you to the police for phone harassment! 194 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,999 Hello? I'll pay the shipping and handling myself. 195 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,399 Tiina! I can't take these any longer! 196 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,199 I'll start the game now. 197 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,199 He just started the game. - The game is on now. 198 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,199 Ball expert Tauno Foot commentator Kimmo 199 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,399 A handsome whistle there - Oh yes. And a crewcut. 200 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,499 Quite handsome players. - Yes. A round ball. 201 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,299 Leather balls, leather balls. 202 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,499 Let's hope that the director shows that part again. 203 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,799 It had way too much bustle for our western eyes. 204 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,799 Way too much. 205 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,999 So it wasn't a goal after all. 206 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,999 Well, the Japanese don't even know the letter R. - True. 207 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,299 And Japanese forward Tiramisu is producing quite a show. 208 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,299 So unsportsmanlike behaviour. - Absolutely 209 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,799 Athletics shouldn't engage in culture. - No, and they can't even act. 210 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,399 But someone is practising his handwriting at the side of the field. 211 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,399 That has no leg to stand on, Kimmo. 212 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,899 True, you rarely see something like that. 213 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,399 Really poor. 214 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,299 7 Cheese 215 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,999 Oww, you knocked your coffee all over yourself! That's going to stain. 216 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,999 But at least it warms me up nicely. 217 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:08,599 Time out. Vajavainen is having some kind of an of an emergency there, he is waving at a Japanese player. 218 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,799 Someone has stolen a watch from the Finnish player. 219 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,399 So it seems. A Rolex is missing from Vajavainen's wrist. 220 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,899 Time is running short for the Finns. 221 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,999 Quite short indeed! 222 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,199 "RANSU IS REAL" 223 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,999 Tough match, guys. 224 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,399 Hey, would you like to hear a joke? - Please tell. 225 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:07,399 A Finn, a Swede and err.. a Japanese decided to compete, who had the largest.. 226 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,799 Then the Finn produced a huge.. 227 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,799 ..the hedgehog replied: 228 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,799 "Hogwash, Bull Dust. Who said that?" 229 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,199 The best joke ever! - True, true. 230 00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,899 Oh, the match is over. 231 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,199 Goals determine the winner, almost doesn't count. 232 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,199 True, true. The outcome can be found from text television page 5. 233 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,199 Thanks for listening, Good-bye. 234 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,399 What? 235 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,599 Meanwhile at Mars... 236 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:18,199 Marsonauts are just landing on the surface of Earth - 237 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,599 A direct visual link is just forming. 238 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:28,999 Hello. We have just landed on the planet Earth. 239 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,799 We have prepared to encounter lifeforms - 240 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,799 and to communicate with them. 241 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,999 This is a small wobble for a Martian - 242 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:50,199 but a big wobble for Martian kind. 243 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,199 Incredible, life actually exists on Earth! 244 00:23:54,500 --> 00:24:00,499 Good day, we come in peace. Take us to your leader... 245 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:05,299 It does not understand. We should use Earth language - 246 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:09,299 that we learned from eye-radio transmissions. 247 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,599 "Hi, I was the first?" 248 00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:15,799 "Hello, any available women from 09-area?" 249 00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:21,699 "Host, show your titties!" 250 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:23,699 "Ridge, I am your father!" 251 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,399 I will attempt a close encounter. 252 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:41,299 Moron! You space slime! Lump face! You knocked the set over! 253 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,599 Shh! - Stop hushing there - 254 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,999 a**hole! You ruined the whole... Who beeped? 255 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,199 We will interrupt the brodcast because of technical difficulties. 256 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,399 The next expedition will be sent in ten years. 257 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,999 Have a nice evening! 258 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,999 NATURE NIGHT 259 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,699 Welcome to Nature Night. 260 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,699 On my one side sits docent Esko Kukkaro. 261 00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:38,499 Good evening 262 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,649 And on my other side, the animal researcher Petri Svöö 263 00:25:40,650 --> 00:25:41,649 And on my other side, the animal researcher Petri Sväö 264 00:25:41,650 --> 00:25:42,649 And on my other side, the animal researcher Petri Svägerholm. 265 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:45,999 I'm short. 266 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,399 Let's take our first caller. 267 00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:51,099 Good evening. You are on the air. 268 00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:53,099 On phone: "Uncle Viljami" 269 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,199 What are you wearing? 270 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,599 Ah! I can take this one. I'm wearing this light shirt and this teddy bear patterned underwear 271 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,799 Why don't we move on to the next caller now. 272 00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:08,299 That must have been a spongerat.. 273 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,399 Good evening, I was burying some bodies in the forest, when I heard some birds singing. 274 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,499 It went something like this: 275 00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:23,499 Ah! That sounds a lot like a rubber duck. - What does Vääksämaa say? 276 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,499 It's just a regular corf tern. 277 00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:27,499 Let's listen to a sample from tape. 278 00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:37,699 Yes, that was it, thank you. - You're welcome. 279 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,799 And let's take the next caller then. 280 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,399 And let's take the next caller. Who do we have there? 281 00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,899 I yelled to the forest and it replied the same. 282 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:55,699 Yes. That was an echo. 283 00:26:56,300 --> 00:27:00,299 Here I have an image of a wild echo animal. I drew it myself. 284 00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:07,299 Echo animals are dangered species. They eat human sounds and excrete sound waves. 285 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,399 So you really should clean your ears. 286 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,599 Ah, thank you. I won't holler anymore. 287 00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:17,899 You're welcome. And our next caller, please. 288 00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:19,899 Hi, I just saw a mouse eating something. 289 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:22,899 What was it eating? - Cheese. 290 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:25,699 And the next caller. 291 00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:30,699 On phone: "Nature watcher" 292 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,199 You are on the air. 293 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:38,199 Good evening. We have two long-eared creatures on our yard. 294 00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:42,499 And they are on top of each other. 295 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,999 Rabbits! - Yes, rabbits. 296 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,199 What are they doing? 297 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,999 They are fu.. fu.. fu.. I can't say that over the telephone! 298 00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:59,699 Say that word! They are f******! Who the f*** beeped? 299 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,399 Invest to the future of your family. 300 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:29,499 Time for yourself. 301 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,999 Time Machine 302 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:44,399 I wish I had a family too so I could invest some time for myself. 303 00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:48,499 I even had difficult times when I was a child. 304 00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:52,499 I had to ski to school at summer and winter. Wolves howled. 305 00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:54,499 I had to pick up stones - 306 00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,499 and wash the firewood. 307 00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:59,299 There was always cold and hunger and darkness. 308 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:01,299 And it hailed! 309 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,399 But it was even worse for the kid's pony next door! 310 00:29:14,700 --> 00:29:16,699 What? 311 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,199 Oh my God! It's a meteorite! We are all going to die! 312 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,999 What? 313 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,999 Oh my God! 314 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,199 A gigantic meteor has crashed on the North Pole. 315 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,599 The polar cap has melted. 316 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,599 Do you mean that the whole world is going to be destroyed forever - and ever? 317 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,199 I'm afraid so. 318 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,999 Oh my God! 319 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,599 Mr President! What are you going to do about the gigantic wave? 320 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:30,799 The secret gigantic Pentagon supercomputer has gone berserk! 321 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,599 It has opened three time portals. 322 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,599 One to the future... 323 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,199 I need your boots, clothes and your motorcycle. 324 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,499 One to the past.. 325 00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:15,899 Oh! Look, it's a dinosaur! 326 00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:18,099 What? 327 00:31:18,100 --> 00:31:21,099 Oh my God! You dropped the killer virus serum! 328 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,199 Brains! Brains! 329 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,299 And one - 330 00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:34,499 into a student apartment! It has something to do with macaroni... 331 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,399 Oh my God! 332 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,599 And the zombies attract gigantic killer flies - 333 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,799 but now we have new problems. 334 00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:50,699 Oh my God! 335 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,399 Mr President! What are you going to do about the situation? 336 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,799 The gigantic flies have caused the rotation of Earth to cease. 337 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:14,399 These events caused the pyramids to fall over and release all the mummies. 338 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,599 My father once told me... 339 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:37,999 Son! Use a silver dagger to slay a vampire! 340 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,199 My father was wrong. 341 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:54,199 Mr President! What are you going to do about the vampires? 342 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,799 Martians are invading Earth! 343 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,799 Gigantic killer snails bring destruction! 344 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,599 The Moon is falling! 345 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,799 Killer cars eat the innocent! 346 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,799 Gigantic killer cows are revolting! 347 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:14,499 And we are out of milk! 348 00:33:14,700 --> 00:33:16,699 Oh my God! 349 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,599 Oh my God! 350 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,599 Perhaps we shouldn't go, after all.. 351 00:33:41,900 --> 00:33:43,899 Cheese! 352 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:51,199 ***** press that ******* one more time and I ***** it to your *** **** ***** 353 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,199 What's wrong with you? 354 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,799 98% of accidents at level crossings are caused by trains 355 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,799 Union of Music Teachers 356 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,399 Well? 357 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,399 Well.. 358 00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:36,299 You're not really going to get any money from this. 359 00:34:39,699 --> 00:34:41,698 Okay. 360 00:34:41,699 --> 00:34:45,698 Why don't you keep it then. I'll just go shovel some manure. 361 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,999 Good-bye 362 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:17,999 The only booty of the plundering expedition was this lousy bowl. 363 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,399 Everything was different when I was a kid... 364 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:29,999 You got to ski to school at winter and summer. Even the wolves howled. 365 00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,499 You got to pick up stones - 366 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:36,499 and wash firewood! 367 00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:44,899 It was always pleasantly cold and hungry and dark. And it hailed! 368 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:51,999 But the kids next door had even more fun... 369 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:58,199 Now I'm going to show to all of them! 370 00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:01,499 Long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.... 371 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,599 In the Kingdom of Mid-Earth. 372 00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:14,499 What? The Magical Bowl has disappeared! 373 00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:17,899 Oh my God! 374 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,799 Three magical bowls were forged in Mummy Valley. 375 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,799 One was sent into the future. 376 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,799 One to the past. 377 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,799 And one.. into a student apartment. 378 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,399 Who could help us? 379 00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:38,099 It was an age of heroes. 380 00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:51,499 He came from distant lands - 381 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,599 Viking the Brave 382 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,599 Who shall come with me? 383 00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:59,499 His call was heard by - 384 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,199 Onan the Barbarian 385 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,199 What? 386 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,599 And a hard-core teenage wizard - 387 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,599 Dirty Potter 388 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,399 For dragonfodder: 389 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,199 seven cloned dwarves 390 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,999 To please the eyes of the adventurers, 391 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,399 Bimbo the Elf 392 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,799 And the greatest of heroes, 393 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,999 Ismo Leikola 394 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,799 Where? I'm not coming. I'm not coming for sure. 395 00:37:43,300 --> 00:37:49,299 A long epic adventure was waiting for our eleven brave heroes. 396 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:53,799 The companions faced unspeakable dangers. 397 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,199 Smoke follows the dwarf. 398 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,599 This is just right. 399 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,799 Charred. 400 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,599 Luckily the heroes had aid from - 401 00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:14,099 Ismo Leikola! 402 00:38:14,100 --> 00:38:16,599 No! I'm not coming for sure! - Come on, Ismo. 403 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,599 I'm not coming. Do it yourself. 404 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:25,799 During the exciting journey, romantic feelings surfaced. 405 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,799 The adventure required ultimate sacrifices. 406 00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:44,099 Remember to tell the Viking - 407 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:50,199 to hold the bow the right way around. 408 00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:57,299 Starved adventurers found some, umm, innovative solutions. 409 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,199 We are out of food. 410 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,799 Luckily there were enough dwarves. 411 00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:09,299 The heroes, exhausted by ordeals, were hesitating. 412 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,599 What are we doing this for, anyway? 413 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,799 So that teenage nerds could wear rags and fake beards - 414 00:39:18,900 --> 00:39:21,899 swing their plastic axes and run around in a forest and call it LARPing. 415 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:27,599 Pathetic losers! 416 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:35,199 Together our heroes headed against a superior enemy. 417 00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:41,299 The battle was fearsome and no dwarves were spared. 418 00:39:41,900 --> 00:39:45,899 The companions retreated to all directions with great success. 419 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,999 Viking got lost in the forest. 420 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,799 At last we meet! 421 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:58,099 He thought he had found the stealer of the bowl. 422 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,399 A beer 423 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,399 Hi! Have we met before? 424 00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:59,499 Come on! Show that you are a man! 425 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,199 Buy a drink for the lady! 426 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:09,599 No, buy a round of drinks for everyone! 427 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,599 The drinks are on me! 428 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,799 I'll have my hands full with that. 429 00:41:21,900 --> 00:41:23,899 A round of drinks. There you go. 430 00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:31,299 But.. where are the drinks for the others? 431 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,799 Excuse me? 432 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,799 But you are the only one here. 433 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,199 What do you mean? 434 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,799 Get yourself a Censor 2000. It's damn good. 435 00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:15,699 Oh fu - 436 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,199 and who had the red wine? - white 437 00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,399 I guessed that. 438 00:44:15,900 --> 00:44:17,899 Yeah, and a car just passed and everything. 439 00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,099 It was just so good. 440 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,199 I can't say this in television! 441 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:39,199 Oh, you can't? Who beeped? 442 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:45,999 .. what he is playing. Some damn red, green, blue, blue, blue, blue, .. 443 00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:08,299 Stop there. Take the decibel values quickly .. 444 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,599 Just stop filming in time for that. 445 00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:34,499 I can't do it. 446 00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:36,099 Rolling! 447 00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:40,299 What is the dwarf doing there? 448 00:45:40,300 --> 00:45:45,299 I'm flinging smoke away with my axe. - Try to bear for a moment. 449 00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:48,299 I dropped my marshmallow into the fire. What are we going to do? 450 00:45:48,300 --> 00:45:51,299 Well.. Marshmallow assistant! 451 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:10,799 But I can't! I'm not, can't be a racist! I -- skin colours. -- and movies. 452 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:34,599 ..and listen to him. What is he playing. Some Blue October, Yellow.. 453 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:50,599 This is Tiina-Anneli Mykerö from Forced Sex.. 454 00:46:55,300 --> 00:46:59,299 What kind of company is this? - A freudian kind of.. 455 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,799 No, there was a too long delay. 456 00:47:10,900 --> 00:47:14,899 I'm not coming. And this isn't even my kitchen!